Slowly Dying
by JenniferLupinBlack
Summary: Hermione's life hangs in the balance without mate by her side. Sirius is forced to sit by watching it happen. How will he find a way to fix this mess?


Sirius leaned against the door frame watching Hermione asleep in the bed. She struggled for every shallow breathe she took. Her naturally sun kissed skin was pale, her normally luster hair lay dull, her eyes shadowed and lifeless. He felt his jaw clench in anger, but he closed his eyes and breathed away the feeling.

"It's get harder every day."

Sirius opened his eyes glancing over his shoulder to see Bill Weasley standing beside him.

"Yes it is. I love Hermione so much. She used to be just some bushy haired, annoying little girl that was friends with my godson but now, she is like the baby sister I never had. I sit here watching over her day in a day out; knowing she is going to die and there's nothing I can do about it." Sirius stopped speaking and looked down at his hand. Faint silver lines ran across the skin there, the proof of the Unbreakable Vow her had taken.

"Fleur and I feel the same way." Bill replied, rubbing the same lines that marked his hand. "I felt her pain instantly when I sat by her in Grimmauld Place. I mentioned it to Fleur, but when we went upstairs to talk to her about it, she made us swear not to say anything."

"And waited until after you both vowed then told you what was wrong." Sirius said letting out a sigh.

"Yes, I believe that's how she got you as well?" Bill probed looking back at Hermione who slowly turned over in the bed.

"Yes and no. She held me at wand point." Sirius looked over at the red haired man alongside him; who had both brows raised before letting out a chuckle at the picture Sirius had just painted for him.

"That does sound like our Granger doesn't it."

Before Sirius could respond he heard Hermione calling for him.

"Sirius."

"I'll be down stairs." Bill said making his way back down stairs.

Sirius took his place beside Hermione. He looked down at her as he rubbed his hand across hers in a gentle caress. "Hello Love. How are you feeling?" He inquired already knowing the answer.

"Like crap," Hermione told him as she tried to sit up in the bed.

Sirius wrapped his arms around her to pull her up so she wouldn't tire herself.

"You wouldn't feel like this if you would let me tell him."

"NO!" Hermione hissed. "He left me because he said he had become too dangerous and somehow doesn't even remember he marked me. Anyways he is getting married. Soon no one will have to worry about me."

"Please don't talk like that Hermione. Let me fix this. Let me do something." Sirius told Hermione as an angry tear rolled down his face.

Hermione wiped the tear from his face. "You are already doing something. You're by my side and that's what I need most right now."

"I know but what will I do without you here? I need you Hermione."

"You will go on without me," Hermione told him as she began to fall back asleep.

Sirius watched Hermione drift off once again, he left the room and continued down the stairs, not stopping till he reached the beach that lay beyond the cottage. "How could this happen to her? Why would he let this happen? His thoughts spun in dizzying circles making him shove his hand through his hair.

"Why can't you remember marking her as your mate Remus?" Sirius whispered to himself as he glanced up at the window in Hermione's room. He was terrified of the day she would go to sleep and not wake up; leaving him forever. Once he had calmed his racing heart, and settled his thoughts a bit, he made his way back to the cottage.

"I made you some tea, figured you would need some."

Sirius closed the door then turned to see Fleur and Bill surveying him.

"Thank you Fleur," Sirius sank into the chair to drink his tea.

"Not a problem." She said taking her seat by Bill.

"How long did she stay awake this time?" Bill questioned as he grabbed the tea pot to pour more into his cup.

"About five minutes." Sirius told them letting out a frustrated sigh. "I want to tell Remus so much. Even if I could tell him; I'd hurt Tonks as well. She never knew exactly how close Hermione and Remus became."

"How much longer till the wedding again?" Fleur asked sipping her tea.

"A week, maybe less. When Remus and Tonks bond is sealed Hermione will die."

"Remus marked Hermione as his mate. Moony nearly killed himself trying to get to Hermione one full moon; to be with his mate. The next morning Remus thought his wolfsbane had stopped working and left. Without her wolf beside her, she will slowly die." Bill took a pained breath at the thought of the pain not having her mate by her would cause. "Hermione is at the easy part. Soon she will be in constant pain even in sleep. She won't be able to wake or do anything about it."

Sirius laid his head in his hands with a sigh. "Thanks for the reminder bill."

"I'm sorry Sirius. I hate this as much as you, not being able to say anything is maddening."

At Bills words Sirius' head popped up from his hands, staring at Bill with an idea flickering in his mind. "The vow we made was to not say anything, right?"

"Yeah, and not to go to Remus with this problem. What are you getting at Sirius?" Bill probed unsure of what Sirius had running through his mind.

"I think I know how to get around the vow."

"We can't—"

"I know." Sirius spoke cutting bill off. "She never said anything of letting someone rip through my mind." Sirius jumped from his chair and ran out of the door before the other two could do more than blink after him.

"Bill, where is he going?" Fleur ask confused at Sirius's words.

"My guess, he's going to find Professor Snape at Hogwarts." Bill said to his wife with a slightly dazed quality to his voice.

"I thought he hated the professor." Fleur stood taking the cups to the sink.

Bill sighed as he got up and stood behind his wife. "He would do anything for Hermione even if it meant going to Professor Snape." He wrapped his arms around her waist and laid his chin on the top of her head saying a silent prayer that it would work.

Sirius landed outside of Hogwarts and began to make his way to the gates in front of the school. Once he reached them, he quickly sent a Patronus asking for entrance. He waited impatiently until he saw the familiar figure of Professor McGonagall walking towards him.

"Sirius is something wrong?" She asked with a slight panicky sound to her voice.

"Can you take the wards down and let me in? I need to speak to Snape," Sirius spoke irritably.

"Okay, okay, don't get your wand in a knot." She said as she pulled out her wand, as she undid the wards she spoke again. "He's probably in his office but don't take my word for it. I never thought I'd hear the day when you'd willing seek out Severus."

Sirius jumped through the gate and placed a quick kiss on the side of her face. "Thanks Minnie." With a wink his made his way to the castle as quick as he could.

"Oh that man," She let out a playful sigh and followed Sirius' path back to the castle.

Sirius raced down the steps as fast as he could; jumping down the last four. He ran to Snape's office down and slid to a stop in front of his door. After a few minutes of pounding then waiting for a response he heard "Enter!" He had the door open and stepping into the room before Snape's voice even stopped echoing in the silence. Snape was sitting at his desk marking papers and didn't bother to look up to see who'd entered. "What do you want?"

"Your help," Sirius said hoping it would cause the other man to look up.

Severus stopped writing, he'd know that voice anywhere, and his head jerked up to level a glare at Sirius even as a smirk crossed his face. Severus set his quill in the ink well then crossed his hands leisurely over his stomach. "Those words are music to my ears. What do you want Black? Tell me quick so I can have the pleasure of telling you no."

Sirius took a deep breath in an attempt to control his temper. "Look I need help."

"That's obvious," Severus sneered.

"Damn it Snape. This is important. I need your help but I can't tell you what it is." Sirius growled but held up his hand to show Snape the faint sliver lines that marred his hands knowing the other man would understand.

Severus's eye narrowed at the sight of the marks, "Sit down Black. Pull the memories forward," He stepped forward towards where Sirius had sat down and withdrew his wand.

"Ready?"

Sirius gave a nod for Severus to start.

"Legilimens."

Even though Severus knew this was important he wasn't gentle going into Sirius's mind. He saw the memories rushing at him till they stopped, and blinked at the memory of Hermione and Sirius.

_Hermione sat on the floor in the middle of Sirius's bedroom crying as Sirius held her. _

"_Why can't he remember, Sirius?" He heard he asks between sobs._

"_I don't know pet. I wish I did." Sirius smoothed her hair trying to calm her._

"_He marked me and doesn't remember. When he marries her I will die." _

Severus' eyes narrowed at the declaration Hermione had just made as the memory ended. Severus pulled out of Sirius' mind and grabbed blindly at the side of his desk. "You're telling me that imbecile marked her as his mate and doesn't remember marking her?" Severus said grinding out the words.

"Yes."

"Let me guess, the twit of a girl made you swear not to say or write anything unless they already knew?" Severus asked clearing everything as he went.

"Yes, which is why I am sitting in front of you. You're the only one who could go through my mind to get the information." Sirius said still breathing deeply from the assault he'd endured from Snape on his mind.

Severus walked over to his bookshelf, and pulled a black book with gold trimming from. He muttered a password causing the shelf to vanish. "Follow me black but don't touch anything. I wouldn't want to have to explain to Minerva why you are dead in my stores." Severus spoke as he stepped through the space between the shelves.

Sirius gave snort before following him.

Severus pulled out his wand out to light the candles down the hall. Severus opened a door on their left and climbed a small ladder, he pulled vial after vial from the shelf muttering slightly to himself.

Sirius looked at some of the labels on the containers with slight shock. "Snape some of these—"

"Are extremely dark?" Severus said finishing his sentence. "Yes I know. So do not ask how I came across these. If I didn't have these we wouldn't be able to relieve some of the pain she will be feeling." He snapped as he grabbed a small cauldron under a protective cloth.

Severus walked back across the hall to another door that ended up being better stocked than the classrooms stores. Sirius poked his head in and looked around before he stepped inside.

"This is my private lab. I wouldn't want the headmistress walking in while using these ingredients." Severus said pulling the vials from his pocket. One was a silver liquid and the other a clear liquid. "This is Unicorn blood and dark Phoenix tears. Grab the aconite of the shelf over there." Severus said pointing to the shelf behind Sirius.

Sirius grabbed the vial and carried it over to Severus who was already lighting a fire under the cauldron he stood in front on. "Okay, two of these are very dark and one is highly poisonous, what the hell are you brewing?" Sirius demanded as he watched Severus pour the potions into the simmering cauldron with careful and precise movements.

"Yes, these ingredients separately are highly dangerous but together it will make a powerful healing and pain relieving potion. Reversing some of the effects withdrawal from Hermione's mate, as well as severing some of the pain she will be felling. The side effect will be a deep sleep." Severus said stirring the potion counter-clock wise.

"Okay, how much longer?" Sirius inquired impatiently. He was almost twitching with the want to get back to Hermione.

"Five minutes." Severus said cutting back the heat under the cauldron. He turned around and snatched a small crystal vial.

When the potion finished Severus bottled it, then both wizard made their way to the apparition point and appeared at Shell Cottage. Sirius stumbled slightly on the unsteady ground then glared at Severus when he caught sight of the other man's sneer. A scream caused Sirius' retort to die in his throat and the two men raced up the beach.

Sirius reached Hermione's door first, he shoved the door open to see that she was thrashing around emitting painful shrieks of agony while Bill tried to calm her.

"IT HURTS! IT HURTS SO BAD!" Hermione screamed from the bed.

"I know," Bill whispered but he turned as the door whipped open to reveal Sirius panting and out of breath.

"Hermione, sweetheart open your mouth this will make the pain stop." Sirius pleaded with her, he ripped the potion from Snape's hand and scrambled onto the bed.

Hermione looked up at Sirius with tears in her eyes. "Make it stop Sirius. Please make it stop." She whimpered as she calmed a little.

"I will sweetheart. I promise I will. Now drink this," Sirius promised soothingly. He poured the potion into her waiting mouth and watched as her eyelashes fluttered then stayed close.

"Sirius I am sorry. She was in so much pain and you weren't here. I didn't know what to do." Bill explained with a slight tremor in his voice.

"It's fine Bill. It's not your fault." Sirius stood from the bed and looked down at Hermione. "How long will the potion keep her asleep?" Sirius asked Snape.

"As long as she doesn't start running a fever, a week, but I have a counter potion to wake her up if needed." Snape said in a hardened voice. Much to everyone's disbelief Severus had enjoyed teaching the fiery young Gryffindor; admired her intelligence even. It was the incessant hand waving that drove him insane. Seeing her like this, so close to being a light snuffed out, because of the werewolf made his blood boil.

"Good. Bill, if she starts running a fever contact me immediately. Snape come with me; we have a werewolf to hunt down." Sirius strode quickly back out of the cottage with Snape keeping step.

"You're going to have to take my arm, Remus's house is warded." Sirius explained with a tone that made it clear he was as unhappy with that as Snape.

"This day just keeps getting better and better." Snape sneered but grabbed Sirius's forearm, almost immediately the familiar pull of apparition took them away. Once the world righted itself, the two wizards found themselves standing outside a small cottage Remus had purchased after the war. Sirius listened closely to the sounds inside the small structure, thanking his canine hearing once again.

"Remus is alone. You'll have to take him back, I can't." Sirius said looking up at the cottage.

Severus nodded as he made his way up to the cottage and began beating on the door. A few moments later a less than pleased looking Remus answered the door. "What do you want Severus? If it isn't life-threatening, it can wait." He began to shut the door but Severus' hand slammed it back open with a snarl.

"Well lucky for you it is," In a flash Snape had pulled out his wand. "Petrificus Totalus."

Remus's frozen body fell to the floor rigidly; Severus smirked down at Remus' body watching his eyes dart around frantically. The joys of life he was sometimes blessed with never ceased to amaze him. He flicked his wand to levitate Remus' body as the pair made their way down to Sirius.

"Sorry Remus," Sirius said simply, a crack later, he was gone. Severus followed behind him with the frozen body. Severus and Remus entered the house slowly, but his pace quickened when Bill called, "Snape she's on fire!"

"Tell Black get the red potion out of my bag in the chair," Severus informed him, absently flicking his wand and allowing Remus to drop to the floor. "I have the wolf." He reached out and hauled Remus up by the back of his shirt then shoved him unceremoniously towards the stairs.

"What the hell is the meaning of dragging me out of my house?" Remus growled as Severus continued to shove and prod him up the stairs.

"You're about to find out," Snape drawled as he pushed open the door. Sirius was sitting on the bed trying to soothe Hermione.

"Hush love everything will be ok," Sirius promised as he set her back down, Hermione nodded once and slipped to sleep.

Remus glared at Sirius, "Sirius you better—"

Remus's words died as Sirius stood up giving Remus full view of Hermione. The sight of her lying in the bed as pale as the sheets she was laying on with a sheen of sweat on her forehead made the air rush out of his lungs.

"Hermione?" He whispered leaning forward to place his hands on the foot of the bed in an attempt to keep himself standing. "What happened to her?"

"You marked her Lupin." Severus said from behind him.

"No, I never—I couldn't have," Remus whispered still looking down at Hermione. "I never wanted that for her. I'm too dangerous for her. It's why I left her."

"I'm sorry Remus, but you did." Sirius reached over to draw back the covers. Hermione's shirt had moved away from her shoulder revealing perfect werewolf bite resting on her shoulder.

"Why didn't she tell me?" Remus said walking around the bed to get a closer look at the mark. He knew now, that's she was dying, from being away from her werewolf. She was going to let herself die instead of telling him. The werewolf inside Remus was howling; Mooney started whimpering under the weight of pain from his mate.

"Well the next time she saw you, you were already seeing Tonks." Sirius said coldly in a tone normally reserved for Snape. "You were marrying Tonks; Hermione didn't want you to be unhappy so she decided to waste away without you knowing. She didn't want to hurt you or Tonks."

Remus looked at Sirius with tears in his eyes, "What do I need to do?"

Sirius gave a sigh and moved to grab a book off Hermione's book case. "Wait till she wakes up," He said taking a seat at Hermione's bed side. Remus took a seat in the furthest corner where he wouldn't be seen.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Remus's growled out as he watched Hermione's sleeping form.

"Didn't feel like dying." Sirius replied simply glancing up over his book.

"You were scared of Hermione?" Remus asked with a confused look on his face, Sirius was afraid of Hermione?

"Yes, she can be terrifying if she wants to be, although this makes it hard to say anything as well." Sirius laid the book down in his lap to raise his hand, making the silver marks catch the light. "Same for Bill and Fleur."

"If you're under the unbreakable vow, how did Severus know?"

Sirius sighed, "He is the best Legilimens in the world. I am sure you can figure out the rest."

"If I had known I would have—" Remus began.

"Would have what?" Sirius snapped his patience wearing thin, best friend or not.

Remus's eyes narrowed at the animagus, "Are you in love with her?"

Sirius rolled his eyes at the werewolf, "No, that thought just disturbs me." Remus said nothing in response and the room sank into silence. His eyes never leaving Hermione's form in the bed, she looked so small and frail, completely different than the stubbornly strong woman he remembered.

"_I told you to go back to her didn't I?" Mooney whispered in Remus's head. _

"You knew?" Remus growled in his thoughts.

"_Of course I knew human." The wolf said like it was obvious. "I marked her. She has a soft spot for me."_

"Why in the hell do I not remember marking her?" Remus mentally yelled at the wolf feeling Hermione's pain as she shifted in the bed.

"_I did not let you remember. I choose her!" Mooney growled back. "I marked her close to the moon. You decided to mate with the girl. I took over long enough to take what was mine."_

"She was mine," Remus growled softly to himself. Sirius looked up with a raised eyebrow, but after catching sight of amber eyes instead of blue, he rolled his eyes and returned to his book. Watching man and wolf argue with themselves was about as interesting as grass growing.

"_Really? If she was, you would have known you marked her." Mooney said sounding smug. "Or atleast marked her yourself." _

"Why did you do this?" Remus pleaded.

"_You need to finally accept me as your other side. She was supposed to help you see that. We both love her, not the woman you are marrying." Mooney said. "Hermione is the one to be at our side making us whole."_ Mooney finished closing his mind to Remus.

"So how's good ol' Mooney?" Sirius asked sitting his book on the coffee table.

"Besides driving me insane? Fantastic!" Remus grumbled on a defeated sigh. "He knew Sirius. He knew he marked her with the hope I would accept him. Through her."

"Well that explains why you don't remember anything." Sirius leaned forward to rest his arms on his knees and stare at Remus. "Why did you leave her?"

"That last full moon, I had taken my potion as normal and went downstairs. I turned but I couldn't keep Mooney in control. He had nearly broken the door down by sunrise. I was terrified of what I would have found if I had gotten out and hurt her, Sirius." Remus said with pain lacing his voice. "Now I know why he wanted out. He wanted his mate."

"That's rather obvious." Sirius told him.

"Why did Hermione believe it better to wither away? I know she didn't want to hurt Tonks or I but what about the others?"

"Oh boy, Ron never let it be known how much he hated your relationship with Hermione. Once you no longer stood at her side he told her how much he hated it and what he thought of had told her how disgusting it was that she let you touch her. I about killed the little shit when I found out. Molly really was not pleased either. So, she left, coming here with Bill and Fleur instead." Sirius told Remus watching his rage bubble up with each word.

"What about Harry does he know about this?"

"No, He doesn't. Hermione still speaks with him though only in letters. Mainly because of his and Ginny's jobs." Sirius explained. Remus nodded, he slipped off his jacket and lay it across the chair.

HGRLHGRLHGRLHGRLHGRLHGRLHGRL

"Sirius?" Hermione's voice called out for him. Sirius placed a finger over his lips with a pointed look at Remus.

"Hello love," Sirius said sitting down on the bed.

"Hi," Hermione looked at him with her chocolate brown eyes and a smile on her face. Remus had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep form growling at sight of that familiar smile on her face pointed at his friend, not him.

"How are feeling?

Hermione sighed stretching, "Right freaking now. I'm hot as hell." Hermione said kicking off the covers revealing her in Sirius's old Gryffindor Quidditch shirt and underwear. "On the other hand, I feel better. The pains starting to leave."

"That's good. Do you feel up to anything to eat or drink?" Sirius said with a smile holding her hand.

"Yes, actually. Soup would be fantastic."

Sirius nodded standing up, "Alright love. I will be down stairs cooking you something."

Sirius made to turn when he felt Hermione's small hand close around his. "Thank you for taking care of me, Sirius."

"I told you I would make you better. I am holding up my promise." He leaned down kissing her head before leaving the room. "Though she may kill me in a little while." Sirius thought heading down stairs.

Hermione rolled over with a groan turning away from the door and closing her eyes until a small noise made them pop back over. A glance towards the corner of the room showed a familiar man sitting in the chair there. Hermione could only think that this was the hallucination she had not told Sirius about. There was only one difference between her hallucination and the man sitting in the corner. Her hallucination's eyes were amber not blue.

Hermione rubbed her eyes and thought she was losing her mind until he spoke.

"I am sitting here, Hermione. You're not losing your mind," Remus's voice slipped across the room filling Hermione's ears.

Hermione sat up eyes wide, "How?"

"How? What do you mean? How am I here or how did I find out?" Remus spat out as he jumped to his feet and walked towards her.

"Both! You were never to know, you made your choice when you walked out on me." Hermione growled glaring at him.

"SO WHAT? YOU WERE GOING TOJUST DIE? THEN HAVE SIRIUS JUST STROLL UP TO ME AND BE ALL, HEY REMUS BY THE WAY THE WOMAN YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH DIED!?" Remus roared.

"DON'T—DON'T EVEN SAY YOU LOVE ME! IF YOU LOVED ME, YOU WOULD HAVE REMEBERED YOU MARKED ME AS YOUR MATE! ME, REMUS, NOT TONKS. YOUR FIANCÉ IF YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN BECAUSE I DAMN SURE HAVEN'T." Hermione shouted back as she stood up from bed ignoring the vertigo of blood rushing to her head.

"DON'T BRING TONKS INTO THIS, IT ISN'T HER FAULT."

"YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THIS? IT'S DAMN WELL YOUR FAULT YOU FURRY, PAIN IN THE ASS WEREWOLF. It doesn't matter whose fault it is," Hermione dropped back down on the bed with a ragged sigh. "I won't hurt her, she's like a big sister to Ginny and I. Besides, you and her look so happy when I—" Her voice broke off and she put her head in her hands. "I just asked Sirius to take me away because it hurt too much. I could feel my heart shattering."

Remus dropped to knees in front of her, "I hurt you more by leaving then by staying."

"How did you get here?" Hermione sniffed.

"Severus and Sirius dragged me out of my house." Remus said smirk.

"Professor Snape?" Hermione asked him confused.

"Yeah, I think he enjoyed putting me in a body bind then pushing me up the stairs." Remus told her with his brow scrunched together.

"He is a pleasant man," Hermione snorted. "Like a fluffy basilisk."

"Hermione?" Remus said placing his finger under Hermione chin forcing her to look at him. She loved the feel of his fingers on her skin again. "I am staying with you. I will not sit by knowing I am the reason you are dying. I love you Hermione."

"What about Tonks? You can't—She can't be hurt." Hermione said beginning to cry again.

"I will deal with that." Remus told her softly holding the sides of her face.

"You won't have to, I heard everything Remus." Remus and Hermione looked at the door to see Tonks standing there.

"Tonks—" Remus said standing between Hermione and Tonks. She held up her hand silencing his words.

"I have known for a while now that there was more to your relationship with Hermione than everyone let on. You also muttered her name in your sleep, saying how sorry you were." She told him. She crossed the room and plopped down gracelessly by Hermione's side. She frowned at how sick the young witch looked. "Hermione you should never have kept this a secret. You need your werewolf by your side. You two need one another—," She paused to look between the two. "Literally! You should have said something. I would have hated to know you died trying not to hurt me. I am going to go now. You two need some time together." Remus and Hermione watched with slack jaws as she bounced out of the room.

"Well that solves that problem, I guess." Remus said turning his blue eyes to her. Hermione looked down playing with her finger nails.

"There's still another problem," Hermione said as Remus nodded. "How do I know you won't walk out on me again?"

"I won't," Hermione looked up at the growling voice, brown eyes meeting amber. "We won't," He said huskily, feeling uncomfortable as tears streaked down her cheeks. Both man and wolf had no idea what to do with a crying woman. "I swear a wizard's oath I will never walk away from you again."

Remus sat on the bed and put his arms around her. He pulled her close to him and buried his head in her hair breathing in her scent. The pain his mate had felt at being away from him for so long made him vow that it would never happen again.

"I love you Hermione you are my mate. The one I choose."

"I love you too Remus."

Hermione was home with her wolf by her side.


End file.
